17 Jane Austen Characters, If They Were on Tinder

19 Pokémon If They Were On Tinder

Which “Home Alone” Villain Should You Hook Up With?

McSweeney's Internet Tendency

Are You J. Crew, J. Jill, J. Mendel, or J. Edgar Hoover?

Famous Authors’ ASMR Props

Increasingly Convoluted Think Piece Titles About Apologizing

Popular Thirst Traps Throughout History


Fergie's "M.I.L.F.$" Music Video As Told By A Very Excited Carton Of Milk

If Padmé Stopped Giving A Fuck In Star Wars Episodes I-III

Points In Case

It Appears Your 2018 Ballot Has Been Erroneously Cast for Gritty, The Mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers

Mar-A-Lago Bath Bombs

Our New TaskBezos Offerings

Please Insert Your Chip Into The Card Reader

This Short Story Has Truly Tickled My Tinglewomble


Brave Women Share Stories Of Seeing Their Boyfriend's Butthole On Accident

Here’s What It’s Like To Go A Whole Week Without Truffle Fries

How To Get The Best Free Samples At Sephora By Robbing A Sephora

These Shoes: They’re Cute, Right?

We're Not A Cult, We're Adult Coloring Book People


Climate Change Projected To Drive Demand For Furby

I Was A High-Achieving Middle Schooler And Now I Work In this Piss-Scented Cat Café

Things Not To Do At A Book Signing

Splitsider (now Vulture)

Please Stop Body-Shaming Me For Being The Ice Cream Cone Pokémon

The Higgs Weldon

If You Wanna Be My Lover, You Gotta Get With My Kraken

Weekly Humorist

Instead Of Committing Admissions Fraud, Please Donate To Our University Directly

Itinerary Of A Plant Dad (co-written with Megan Broussard)